


Umm, Can we not? Die that is

by LadyRavenJade



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: OC, Self-Insert, Skipping the tutorial, Video Game Mechanics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-07-25 15:54:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7538815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyRavenJade/pseuds/LadyRavenJade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because it was her dream damn it, of course she wasn’t going to sit though the really long tutorial. How do you skip the tutorial do you ask? Obviously you uncreative swine, you escape. Duh.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Umm, Can we not? Die that is

Waking up in a cart was the weirdest thing ever. She had been in bed after a very long night of playing Skyrim and hadn’t had any plans to emerge for quite some time.

“Oh dear god I’m dreaming about this game now, maybe I should get a life?”

“I see your awake prisoner-“

“Fuck I hate the tutorial can I skip this?”

“Hey Horsetheif-“ 

“I’m skipping this.”

“A nords last thoughts should be of home.”

“Umm, can we not? Die that is. I really think we should at least attempt an escape if we’re going to certain death.”

“We are surrounded by imperials. Escape would be impossible.” Well isn’t Ralof just a ray of sunshine? 

“Umm….No it wouldn’t and we really aren’t?” It had always bothered me, the setup of the prologue in this game.

“ In case it has escaped your notice we are the last wagon and there is only one guy behind us, we might have been in some trouble if anyone bothered to tie us up properly, but…” I raised my hands and wiggled my fingers.

“This is a really bad attempted at keeping prisoners tied up. I could easily use my fingers to untie your bindings, not that I think we need to even waste time on doing that by the way.” Really what was up with tying your hands in front of you and not bothering to tie the legs at all? 

The wagon went over a bump and I could see we were getting closer to Helgan, so needed to move this along.

“Look I have a plan, if you will all agree to work with me I think it will work. It’s not like we have anything to lose right?”

“I’m in! I don’t want to die. I’m not supposed to be here!” Said the horse thief guy, well stupid though he may be for getting shot in the back with arrows, at least he is willing to try. 

Ralof shrugged. “I see no harm in trying, we go to our execution regardless. What is the plan of yours girl?” Rude man, he could at least try and stay positive.

“In a moment I’m going to count to three and when I say three, I would for you Mr. Ulfric sir, if you don’t mind please raise your hands and take that gag out of your mouth. The way they have your hands tied there is nothing stopping you from doing so.” Again it’s so stupid that the hands are tied in front of us. Honestly I’m kind of pleased with my dream now, I’ve always wanted to fuck up the beginning as badly as possible. 

“If you wouldn’t mind then shouting at that one lonely guard back there to get him out of the way so we aren’t killed with arrows that would be great.” 

Considering that Ulfric had killed a king with just his voice I’m not sure why he couldn’t take out most of the army to save his men to be honest, but I didn’t care enough about the Stormcloaks to suggest that he try. Racist assholes.

“Then Ralof, if you could raise your hands up and put this guy head that’s leading the wagon under your arms and pull him into the carriage by his neck.” Said guy was apparently not listening to our conversation at all as he gave no reaction to our escape plans. 

“ I can jump up and grab the horse reins and steer us out of here while you guys and knock the guy you put in the cart out and use whatever weapon he has on him to break your bindings. As long as Ulfric stays facing the back of the carriage and shouts at the people behind us we should be able to make a clean get away. Any questions?”

“By the nine girl, you think that will work?” Ralof asked sounding rather startled that I had a solid plan that involved not waiting to die.

“It will! It will and none of us will die! Start counting!” Horse Thief guy, (damn it what is his name?) seemed thrilled with the idea or maybe that was just the desperation showing.

Ulfric was staring at me of course and who knows what that guy was thinking, but catching my eye he gave a slow nod.

“ Alright then.” I crack my neck cause I’m feeling strangely sore from sitting in cart that’s only real in my dream.

“Let’s do this, a one and a two and a three!” I was pretty excited at the time. This was turning into of the best dreams I had ever had. Of course later when I had an all too real arrow sticking out of my shoulder, I would regret not simply waiting for the damn dragon to save me.


End file.
